DIARY ENTRY : "COLOGNE REVIEW" JOHN VARVATOS "ARTISAN"

I spent the night before up very late watching that Woody Allen Film " Vicki Christina Barcelona ". So when I finally woke up the next morning .. ( clears throat) I mean this afternoon feeling like high hell , and he suggested getting drinks and going to Sephora. I couldn't think of a more splendid was to spend the evening . Three screwdrivers and one rum and coke later , I was on my way to the local Sephora . Let this be a bit of a cautionary tale my friends , don't ever go to smell perfume/ cologne drunk ! While crossing the street to get inside of the store I shrieked "oh my god we made it to the promise land " . Running in my heels like a lazy hooker I bust threw the doors only to be greated by a faboulous and might I say very helpful gay man dressed in all black . Needless to say I pulled my shit togethere as qiuck as I could . I was also happy my makeup had been carefully applied and the outfit was up to par unlike the chic begger look I was rocking earlier . You see it's one thing to be drunk in Sephora and its another thing to be drunk and looking a hot mess in Sephora while a stylish gay man shows you the "new products " . I'm sure I reeked of booze . I started out in the colgne section quickly siffting thru each fragrence complaing like a spoiled 50's socialite that something smelled "god awful " and "like shit " . After smelling several awful "vodka vomit" inducing scents I arrived at one that was worth a review . It is " Artisan by John Varvatos " . I'd like to say at first spray Artisan intersted me and repelled me at the same time . It smelled like this woman's purse that use to sit next to me and my mother in church every sunday . I would be half asleep ( as a result of staying up the night before playing sonic the hedge hog ) and my mom would pop me in theback of my head and say "Wake up , don't you embarrass me " . I would sluggisly move around and the woman sitting next to me would open up her beaten leather purse and offer me a mint , that looked like it had been sitting in the darkest deepest depths of her purse for centuries . I would take it put it in my mouth and savor it . And so I coined the phrase "Church mints " . And that is exactly what Artisan intially smelled like . It is neither boring nor inviting . But it has an awful "throwback smell" that I just didn't care for in the beggining . But I nabbed a sample any ways because you never know how a scent my change ( and I'm happy I did) . So now it is about 1 am , and I am smelling Mr. Varavato's latest concoction again , this time after it has settled and it's turned into what I could only decribe as the reminesinse of a scent that a lover would leave behind on shuffled bed sheets after they have left . Maybe they have left money on the dresser maybe they havan't , but with this scent one can only hope that they return . John Varvatos "Artisan" is one word "Distinct" . And the bottle is a keeper to it looks like something a tour guide for the congo river would keep his booze in . . So if you can get past the Minty mess that happens in the beggining of this fragrance and and have a bit of patience it may just grow on you!

ps : DONOT BATHE YOURSELF IN THIS FRAGRENCE . ALOT GOES A HELLAVA LONG WAY !